


i don't know what i'm doing (but i know where this is going)

by notcaycepollard



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Masturbation, Phone Sex, Skye's huge crush on Coulson, This is a terrible idea, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-04-11 00:03:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4413128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notcaycepollard/pseuds/notcaycepollard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's one reliable way of curing this kind of insomnia, but Skye is not going to get off in the back of a van while Coulson sleeps one seat over.</p>
<p>At least, she's pretty sure she's not.</p>
<p>Actually, she's kind of reconsidering. She's really awake, okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i don't know what i'm doing (but i know where this is going)

**Author's Note:**

> Pretty much some shameless what-if-they-were-sleeping-in-a-van-on-mission smut. Title also shamelessly cribbed.

They've been out on mission for three days, and Skye is pretty sure she's never going to get to sleep ever again. She knows _why_ they can't just spring for a hotel - accommodation is thin on the ground this deep in wherever-they-are in rural Azerbaijan, or whatever - but sleeping in the back of a van is so not her jam anymore. Especially with Phil Coulson asleep one seat over.

She rolls over in her sleeping bag, trying to find a more comfy spot or at least one where the seatbelt isn't jabbing her in the hip, but it's her mind racing that's really keeping her awake. There's one reliable way of curing this kind of insomnia, but Skye is not going to get off in the back of a van while Coulson sleeps one seat over.

At least, she's pretty sure she's not.

Actually, she's kind of reconsidering. She's _really_ awake, okay.

She wriggles around again until she's on her back, and then holds her breath a little to see if Coulson's really asleep. He definitely sounds it - even breaths, a little snore every so often - so Skye closes her eyes and slides a hand inside the waistband of her leggings, determinedly not thinking about what she's doing. She's gotten pretty skilled at this over the years - the orphanage wasn't exactly the most private of places, but a girl has _needs_. Her fingers skate slick over her clit, tiny little movements to make as little incriminating rustling as possible, and yeah, this is a terrible idea but it's also kind of a great idea. It's been weeks since she last touched herself and months since that shitty little interlude with Miles, and she can feel the need to get off sitting hot and tight under her skin.

She presses a little harder, her breath hitching. Slides her other hand up to pinch a nipple, and accidentally lets out a tiny moan at how good it feels. Then Coulson coughs, shifts in his seat.

"Skye? Are you okay?"

_Fuck_. She freezes, clears her throat, her face burning. "I'm fine, AC." Her voice is high and breathy, because hello, she's been _getting herself off_ in a van while Coulson apparently _was not asleep_ one seat over. She's going to die of how embarrassed she is.

Coulson lets out a huff of air, makes a sound Skye realises is worry. "Are you sure you're alright? I thought... you sounded a bit upset. I know we've been through a lot in the last few months, Skye. I hope you know you can talk to me." 

"No! I'm definitely fine. I mean, yes I know I can talk to you. But I am. Fine. Definitely. I just, um, can't sleep. Trying to count sheep, y'know, that sort of thing." Coulson chuckles, and Skye thinks she might have escaped.

"I could read you a bedtime story?" he suggests, and jesus  _christ_ Skye should not still have her fingers pressed against her clit, because the idea of him reading to her, his voice steady and warm in the dark, makes her tighten and she can tell she's wetter just at the thought. 

"I don't think these vans have any sleeping tablets..." he muses. "But you've gotta get some rest."

"I, uh," she says, suddenly full of bravado. Maybe it's because it's so dark they at least can't see each other. Maybe it's because she's just realised she could probably get off based on Phil Coulson's voice alone. "There's... probably something that would get me to sleep? I, um. You know. It's kind of... what I was trying." She was wrong.  _This_ is when she's going to die of how embarrassed she is.

Coulson is silent for a long moment, and Skye winces. " _Sorry_. Sorry. Totally made things really awkward. Forget I said anything. We should just both try and go to sleep. _Right now_."

"No, Skye, I... Sorry I interrupted. You should... you should keep going. If that's a solution. For you. Rest is important. For, ah, the mission."

"Sir, that... um." She bites her lip, laughs uncomfortably. This is literally the worst thing that has ever happened to her, and she's been kidnapped by Grant fucking Ward. "No. Never mind."

"Would it help if I talked you through it?" he blurts out, and Skye's eyes widen open in shock.

"Are you serious? I mean, sir, I think I'm honour-bound to say yes just to hear how you plan to  _talk me through this_ as if it's some kind of super operation." Coulson laughs at her snark, and something loosens in Skye's chest. "Go on then. Talk me through it, sir."

Coulson clears his own throat, takes what sounds like a deep breath. Skye is realising that there are terrible ideas and  _really terrible ideas_ and that this is probably one of the worse ones. The director of SHIELD is going to talk her through getting off in the back of a van in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Oh god.

"Are you touching yourself right now?" he asks, and she giggles nervously.

"Yeah..."

"Oh Skye. While I was talking to you earnestly about your feelings? _Skye_. Get your fingers off your clit. Circle lightly around it, but don't touch it again until I tell you you may." Coulson's voice is authoritative, no hint of uncertainty, and Skye realises she's thrumming with tension as she obeys. She strokes her finger down her folds, skimming back up without touching her clit, and it feels so good but so teasing she's actually aching. 

"Does that feel good? Are you doing what I'm telling you?" he asks, and Skye moans as she throbs against her fingers. She hears Coulson's breathing pick up, and the thought that this might be getting under his skin makes her reckless.

"Oh  _god_ ,Coulson," she groans, rubbing a little harder.

"Do you like that? Do you like being told what to do? I think you do. Slide your other hand down your body. Use your fingers. I want you to fuck yourself. One finger first." Fucking  _hell_. Skye doesn't waste time. She tugs her leggings down inside her sleeping bag so she can spread her thighs apart and push a finger inside. She's never been wetter. Her breath is coming in little pants, and she arches her hips up for a better angle, careless of the way the sleeping bag and van seat rustle and creak.

"Are you getting close? Push another finger in. Slowly. Don't touch your clit yet." Skye moans again, louder, in mingled frustration and desire, but follows the instruction, pushes another finger hard into herself up to the knuckle, crooks it to hit the spot she knows is best. She can feel her orgasm building; her thighs are trembling with how hard she wants to come. She whines in the back of her throat, a needy sound that makes Coulson breathe in sharply, and the thought of him getting off on her getting off is almost enough to push her over the edge.

" _Coulson, fuck, please_ ," she basically begs, because she's got two fingers hard and deep in herself and she's pretty sure the van smells like sex and  _fuck_ she needs to come. He hums almost under his breath and she lets out another one of those needy little whines.

"Touch your clit. I want you to come, Skye. Can you do that?" Fuck  _yes_ she can do that, and she was wrong, this wasn't a terrible idea, this was  _the best fucking idea ever_. The orgasm hits her like a bomb as soon as she flicks a finger over her swollen clit, starting deep in her centre and shaking her to pieces. It's pitch black but rainbows burst behind her eyes and she's pretty sure she grays out with the force of it. It's by far the best she's ever had.

As she comes back to herself, settling into her body and _oh god_ pulling her fingers out (wincing at the stickiness that she wipes off on her thigh), she gets a burst of major awkwardness, but Coulson seems to anticipate it and talks her lightly through it and into warm sleepiness.

"Feel better?" he asks gently, and Skye breathes out shakily.

"Yeah, that... yeah."

"Good. Think you'll sleep?"

"Definitely." She yawns loudly before she can catch it, almost asleep already. In the morning things might not even be awkward.

 

***

 

In the morning things are  _totally awkward._

They finish mission, rendezvous with the rest of the team (trying very hard not to let Fitz or Hunter or oh god  _May_ pick up on what might have Definitely Didn't Happen), debrief and skedaddle. Coulson busies himself in his office, clearly being the director and not available for discussion, and yeah that's probably a good thing but holy hell does Skye want to talk it over with him. (Does she want to _talk_  it over? She can't tell. Her brain is fried.)

Skye goes to the gym, hoping that a hard workout will distract her from the way she keeps remembering Coulson's voice dark and rough and raw in the dark. It doesn't. She gives it up as a bad job, goes to her quarters and takes a long shower and yeah, she gets herself off in the shower again, thinking about it. It's not as good. She wonders if nothing will be as good.

That night she's nicely tucked up in her own bunk, and it's warm and it's cosy and most importantly it's  _private_ , but once again she can't sleep. More importantly, she thinks Coulson might not be sleeping either. She picks up her cellphone half a dozen times, types out texts that don't really seem appropriate to send, and then when two hours have gone by and she's still staring up at the ceiling, she sighs, dials Coulson, wills herself not to hang up.

He picks up on the first ring.

"Skye? Are you alright?"

"Well, AC, the thing is, I kind of can't sleep. And I heard there's a fix for that." Coulson huffs what could be a laugh or a cough, and Skye smirks before continuing. "The real thing is though, sir, I think maybe you can't sleep either."

"... Oh?"

"Yeah, I was thinking maybe that  _you_ were thinking, and I mean, I've been known to talk you through some pretty exceptional operations. Sir." There's a pause, and Skye can pretty much  _hear_ Coulson's heart beat faster. Yeah, this all is a really terrible idea after all, but she's pretty sure they're going to work with it.

 


End file.
